OK, I had to share this.
It's my Mom's birthday and I went to Amazon's Gift Guide for ideas. The page comes back:
"She's handled dirty diapers, skinned knees, teenage tantrums, and questionable college majors--doesn't Mom deserve something special? These gifts are designed to pamper, please, and pay tribute to the leading lady of your lifetime."
And there on page one, they were suggesting a "Black & Decker LP1000 Alligator Lopper Electric Chain Saw ."
Maybe that's for handling those pesky "teenage tantrums."