I wish I'd taken pictures.
It was at a convention and lunch was "comfort food." I think it is time for that trend to die. It's an excuse to serve 1968 middle school cafeteria fare to adults. Mac and cheese, you can go away now. But the worst is the slider.
A slider is a trendoid name for a hamburger with ruined proportions. The ratio meat to bun is destroyed. A burger is juicy and hot in the middle, with additional juiciness if caramelized onions or melted cheese are aboard. The edges bring in a little crisp, some seared meat perhaps, and even if the bun and burger differ in diameter, any proportioning error as we chomp through some all-bun or all-burger bites is minor compared to the overall experience.
A slider is an architectural failure. Teeteringly tall, the bun keeps in no warmth or moistness, and it's a challenge to handle in exchange for cheap reward.
Even if cooked perfectly — which is nearly impossible for a coin of a burger — a slider gets this all wrong. All edge, no center, too tall, means it's a teetering stack of dry. The only way to rescue it is to waste the bun and pretend it's a sauceless meatball.
They try to rescue it. I give props for pulled pork, which at least recognizes the contribution of some saucy mortar and structural relief. No props for cheese, lettuce and tomato, which make it even colder, even spindlier. But in the end, all a slider does is to tell your audience you have no imagination. It is time for sliders to slide off into the sunset and go to the fiery hell of White Castle's griddle.